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you’re such a jerk and I now feel like a moron


when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

"I did not intend to get this drunk"
-Me everytime I drink (via upperslut)

breaks into your room:  ITS ALMOST OCTOBER
rips open blinds:  SMELL THE PUMPKINS
pulls you out of bed:  LOOK AT THE LEAVES
leans in really close:    feel the spoopy



Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.